Surprises and Blessings

Today, I was totally blown away by three extremely sweet surprises and huge blessings (and they just happen to be the cutest things you've ever seen). I am SO THANKFUL!!!My friend Amy from BSF surprised me with the cutest blanket I think I have ever seen. It is brown on one side and pink on the other side with a satin pink and brown polka-dot ribbon. She has Adelyn's name embroidered on it! It is beyond perfect! And it is the softest thing I have ever felt. I am sure it will be favorite in the Taylor house.

When I got home from bible study I checked the mail and had this little package in there. My sweet friend Kelly sent two embroidered burb cloths that say "Lil Miss March" and "Future Beauty Queen." SO CUTE! Kelly, that was so thoughtful and so sweet! Totally did not have to do that! I can't wait to use them!

I also got to enjoy some much needed girl time with my friend Taylor this afternoon and we went to a cute little baby boutique and she bought little Adelyn a very thoughtful gift! Little Trumpette baby ballerina socks and cute little clips. I can not wait for her to wear them! My little stylin' daughter! Thanks friend!

I am just living in a season of thankfulness. Colby and I have talked about how we do not deserve any of this, and are blown away by our family, friends and church family. Everyone know how thankful we are for you in our lives!

Esther Bible Study

What a joy the past 9 weeks have been. In January, I opened up my home to join some incredible women to participate in Beth Moore's newest bible study: Esther. To say it has been powerful would be an understatement. I can not even begin to write all that God did in all of our lives individually.

It is incredible to see prayer requests turn to praises.
It is incredible to see broken lives made whole.
It is incredible to see doubt turned to belief.
It is incredible to see lives turned around, which happens to be one of the main themes in the book of Esther.

To every girl that joined me in this study,

Thank you for being authentic. Thank you for opening up. Thank you for listening to me, flaws and all. Thank you for consistently showing Christ's unconditional love to every sister in the room. Thank you for not judging. Thank you for not gossiping. Thank you for praying over each weeks prayer requests. Thank you for joining us in praising God for answering those prayer requests. Thank you for being vulnerable even when it was hard and you were scared. Thank you for coming each week. Thank you for each being in charge of snacks for a week (Adelyn thanks you too, they were great- my pregnancy weight gain proves it :) ) Thank you for being open for God to teach you, change you, mold you into looking more like Him.

I do not have adequate words to tell you all how much you have blessed me. Tears come to my eyes thinking of this group and how we have all been there for each other. I can not believe the 9 weeks is already over. Guess it's time to start thinking about the next study, with a new member: Adelyn. :)

Love you girls! Here are our crazy pictures:

Trying to be crazy....maybe just awkward...

Thank you Lord for what you did through this study and for what you did in each of our lives.

Sweet Baby Shower For Adelyn

Sunday March 1, 2009

I have some incredible friends! I was totally blessed by all they did to throw the MOST PERFECT shower for baby Adelyn. It could not have been any better! It was beyond perfect! From the invitations, to the cake and food, the game, the hostess gift, etc.....PERFECT! Girls, you know I can not thank you enough! I can't wait for Adelyn to meet all of her "aunts"! ha! She will have a lot!

Here are just a few pictures:

My sweet husband and I.
(Can I take a moment and brag on my husband? I could go on and on and I will try to make it brief. I can not tell you how much he has done for me to absolutely bless me and make me feel well taken care of. He is so consistent in providing perfect warm bubble baths. He puts my towels in the dryer and tells me to tell him when I am ready to get out so I will have warm towels. That is my husband, just going the extra mile! He is always quick to offer back rubs, foot rubs, etc. He will most likely make me delete this if he knows I wrote it.....but he deserves a little braggin' on! Colby, I am beyond thankful for you!!)Me with all the hostesses:
Jessica, Lauren, Me, Sara, Elizabeth, Erin

All the guests enjoying themselves!

Cutest Embroidered Onesie!

The cake...

I have organized all of her stuff. I still need to wash the majority of her outfits. They still have tags on them. Just a few last minute things to do and get and we will be ready. Oh wait, can you ever be officially ready to have a newborn? Not sure.... We will try to be ready! We are getting excited!!

Pregnancy Thoughts...

Today I am 37 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has absolutely flown by for me. I can not believe that I have 3 weeks or less left. I want to take just a few moments and journal some thoughts I have about this pregnancy. I am sure this will all be totally random and whatever comes to mind:

-It still has not hit me that I will be having a baby in 3 weeks. Other moms reading this, is this normal?? I mean, hello? I am 37 weeks pregnant, have this obvious baby belly, feel her move ALL the time, am having consistent braxton hicks contractions, and still just can't believe I am about to have a baby. It is very surreal.

-I wish someone told me to eat/drink a lot of fiber. No need to go into details here.

-I have been blown away by the generosity of friends and family members by blessing us with much needed baby supplies. There is no way we could through this time without everyone supporting us. It is humbling and I am very thankful!

-I am nervous about nursing. I think it is all the stories I have heard. This is something that I am consistently praying over right now. I am committing to it and persevering through it even when it is very hard. Hopefully this blog will hold me accountable! ha!

-Today, I was reminded that there are going to be so many exciting "firsts" coming in the next few weeks, months, years, etc. As I was thinking about that, I was reminded of all the "lasts" that Colby and I are both experiencing individually and as a couple. This is not a bad thing. It is just change. It hit me while we were having breakfast at Mimi's. Breakfast at Mimi's has been a regular date for us in our marriage. Just the two of us. Next time...it will be 3 of us. We are planning on still committing to our once-a-week date night after the baby comes.

In 2008, we experienced a lot of our last holidays just the two of us. We are experiencing our last nights of 8 hours of continuous sleep. We have already experienced that last time our house was a "newlywed" house not filled with baby toys, swings, strollers, boppy's, diapers, wipes, etc.

-I have loved journaling and scrapbooking throughout this process. I have read over so many sweet memories. I hope I can keep this up post-baby.

-It is has been bittersweet not having one of my very best friends, Becca, be a part of this 40 weeks journey called pregnancy. She serves as a missionary in Mexico and I could not be any more happy for her! It is just weird not having her here! She has already booked her plane ticket for March 21st, so we will see when Adelyn comes!

-I kind of wish I drank less caffeine throughout this pregnancy (told you this was going to be random). I actually rarely drank caffeine before I got pregnant. And then when I got pregnant I craved Sonic Vanilla Dr. Peppers. And I was hooked. This is bad. Hopefully I can lower this intake after baby comes.

-I wonder what Adelyn is going to look like. As a baby, I had no hair. Maybe a tiny little bit of blonde fuzz, but not much. Colby had extremely thick dark, dark hair. I had brown eyes. Colby had blue eyes. I can not wait to see her! I think I am hoping for her to look more like Colby because he was a cute, cute baby!! So excited to meet her!

-Pregnancy has really taught me to trust God and that He is in control! I can not form little Adelyn in my belly. God has completely molded her, formed her every little detail, organ, feauture, etc. He has everything under control.

-Lately, I have gotten the infamous question, "Are you excited? Are you nervous?" Honestly, I have this huge peace completely covering me that I am not really that worried. The only thing I am thinking about is just the unknown. Some questions I have been thinking about:

When will it be?
Will my water break?
Will I be induced?
Etc...

I am so excited for all of these unknown things.... What is awesome is that God knows! I do not have to worry because He's got it all under control.

22

I have been debating whether or not to post this or not. Part of me says no for a number of reasons. And part of me says yes for a number of reasons. May it be a testimony of God's providence...

February was the world's worst month. Seriously could not have gotten worse. I sadly kept on thinking of the quote: "when it rains, it pours." Thankfully, when that quote came to mind, I tried to refresh it with scripture and trusting God. Sometimes I succeeded. Sometimes I failed.

How could so much bad happen in one month? How does one person handle it? How does one 9-month pregnant girl handle it? Can't this send me into labor? Oh, Lord, please intervene.

I will not go into details. A lot of it did have to do with finances. My job ended in December and we have been living off of one youth minister income. At this same time: both cars broke. Pregnancy bills due. Taxes due. All of those numbers were way too high to even look at.

HOWEVER.....

God has been faithful.

Colby has been a strong leader and provider in the midst of this stress and has taught me a lot.

Let me tell you a story about how God provides....

It started in December, when I was getting stressed just thinking about not having a job. We were driving home from Kansas. We passed an exit sign: Exit #222. This HUGE peace came over me. Why? It was just an exit sign? No scripture? No revelation. Just an exit sign. Weird...

Then comes January. I went to a new cupcake place in town with some friends. We were just sitting there enjoying our coffee and cupcakes when our waitress came and took our dirty dishes away. As she picked up our plates, I notice on her hand that she wrote: "Geneses 22:14, the Lord will provide." Okay, coincidence? nope. Ironic? nope. God speaking? yes. I needed to know that God was going to provide for me. I needed to believe it.

Then comes February. One of the hardest months I have lived through. I really tried to focus on God and trusting and believing that He was going to work everything out. Once again, I had good days, and I had bad days. One day in particular, I was becoming weak. I was going through all of our expenses and income and it was not looking good. How can one number be so high and the other number be so low? It did not match up.

In the midst of not even having enough to pay bills, I have this husband next to me that is telling me all the people he wants to give to. He told me the amount we are giving to our church. He told me the amount we are giving to friends that are getting ready to serve as missionaries. I could not believe it? How is this going to work? He said, "We are not called to give when we have adequate money. We are called to give period. It is God's to begin with. Not ours." Thank you for the conviction, husband. I want to be just like you.

That same day, as I am looking at the numbers not adding up and listening to my husband tell me he wants to give it all away, I have what I would most likely call a mental breakdown. This is so sad, and so human. Why was I not trusting God. He already gave me a peace in December that He was going to provide. He already reminded me in January that He is the God who provides. Why was I not believing this on this day?!?!

I go and throw myself a little pity party and seriously am just weeping in bed. I am stressed, scared, oh, not to mention 9 months pregnant. Can we say hormones? (okay, I probably should not use the pregnancy card, but it works?!?)

As I am laying there being completely ridiculous, I have to sit up and get myself together. What are you doing Amanda? Why are you not trusting God? As I look over at the clock, it is conveniently 2:22 (have you noticed the 22 theme??----Exit sign 222. Scripture: Genesis 22. Time: 2:22). Once again, this huge peace comes over me and I felt the Lord saying what Genesis 22 says "I am the Lord who provides for you."

So..... I get up and decide to go on a walk and try to pull myself together and have a moment with the Lord. As I am on my way out, I stop by the mailbox to check the mail for day. There was an envelope that just had our name on it. When I opened it, it was full of cash. No name. No note. No nothing.

Seriously? And I doubted God? Why? Why am I so human? When will I really get it?

I am still learning. One of the very best things I am learning is to continue to give no matter what. My humanness wants to pay all of our bills and see what we have left and then maybe give. However, in this season of our life, we would never give. There just isn't enough. This is human speaking.

God speaking. It is His.
God speaking. It is not ours.
God speaking. We will give and trust.

Things are still rather difficult. However, there are certain choices I must choose to make each day. One of those choices is to choose to trust God in the midst of my circumstances. Whether they are good or bad. Whether it makes sense to me or not.

"The Lord will provide." -Genesis 22:14

Work Baby Shower

Some co-workers of mine got together and hosted an incredible Baby Shower for Colby and I (and Adelyn too!). It was such a blessing and it was so much fun! We are so thankful and appreciative of everyone who came and for all of the thoughtful gifts! THANK YOU!

The amazing looking and tasting block cakes...One of the incredible hostesses and amazing friend: Molly

Opening up presents...

Praise Him....even when it's hard.

Is anyone going through a hard time besides me? I need to know that I am not alone. It is a really tough season to be living through right now. I will not go into details, but it is just tough. There are personal things going on. There are hard things going on in the lives of some of our closest friends and family. And just when I think I can not handle it anymore, something else happens. And another thing happens. And we receive news. And it never ends. I guess it's true, "when it rains, it pours."

But somehow, in the midst of it all, all I can do is cling to God. I have had to learn how to live scriptures that I have had "memorized" for years. For instance, "We live by faith, not by sight." -2 Corinthians 5:7. According to a current situation I was in, sight did not look good. Sight was not promising. Sight showed me that I was not going to be able to make it through the situation. Faith showed me something totally different. Faith showed me the God that takes care of all things. Faith showed me the God who does provide for His children. Faith showed me that He is bigger and is sovereign over my circumstances.

I am not blogging because things are better. I am not praising God because things are better. Things are still hard. And God is still faithful. I am choosing to praise Him even when it doesn't make sense. I am choosing to praise Him even when it's hard. Why? Because He has proven Himself SO faithful to me. He deserves my praise.

Bethany Dillon sings an incredible song called, "Hallelujah" and one of the lyrics that I am loving right now is: "Whatever's in front me, I'll choose to sing, Halleljuah." We are not called to only praise Him when things are easy, comfortable, and incredible. We need to praise Him even when it's hard.